Wednesday, November 24, 2010

It’s Thanksgiving. Why are you online?

Okay, guess we all need time away from the table. And maybe football isn’t for everyone. So you’re here with me on Thanksgiving. And like me, you’ve probably eaten waaaay too much, but in case you’re in doubt about that, you should look for the signs here:

Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much at Thanksgiving Dinner

10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.

7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.

6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.

5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"

4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.

3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.

2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.

1. You're sweatin' gravy.

My other blogger mates would have a thought provoking post about much more heady matters, but hey, that’s not me. With the tense novels I write, I need a good laugh. So I dug out my parachute pants and got into it with M. C. Hammer.

As we speak, I’m having Thanksgiving at my sister’s house. (I know. You thought I was online with you, but I hate to break it to you, I posted early. Sorry.) This year it was my responsibility to make a family classic, our traditional Cranberry Chutney, one of my dad’s contributions. But after seeing this video, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to eat cranberries again.

For the sake of discussion, I’d love to hear from you, as long as you’re here. What are your favorite things to do on Thanksgiving? And what dishes do you consider sacred MUST HAVE traditions?

On behalf of all of us at The Kill Zone, I hope you’re having a special day with your family and loved ones. We appreciate your visits to our site. It makes us feel like family, so thanks. Have a wonderful holiday season and don't forget...

Books make wonderful gifts!


  1. Can't stuff this. ROTFL! I can always count on TKZ for a laugh.

    Very simple tradition for me. Cracker Barrel with friends capped off with their awesome pumpkin streusel pie.

    I'm thankful for this blog. The TKZ authors and commenters are great. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

  2. I'm loving #6! I could totally do that.

    Must haves? Potatoes, any and every kind. And pumpkin pie....

    I loved it when I was small and we all gathered at the grandparents' house.

    Hope yours is safe and wonderful!

  3. I'm thankful I don't have anywhere I have to fly to this Thanksgiving.

  4. Jordan, I used to love cranberry sauce until I watched the video. But now I . . . oh what the hell, I’m having it anyway.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. I'm taking a break from cooking to read your amusing entry. What's sacred in our house? Turkey, broccoli cheese casserole, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, cranberry sauce. Oh, and pumpkin pie. My mouth is watering at the thought of today's feast. Have a great day, everyone.

  6. thx for my morning laugh. dressing....i could just make dressing and be very very happy. now, i'm looking for the mute button to shut out our hapless Lions!!!

  7. Ahhh BK---Thanks for sharing your day with us. And I'll have to try that pie at Cracker Barrel. Sounds yummy.

  8. Hey Words Crafter--Thanks for being here.

    Me personally, I'm gonna be looking for anyone sweating gravy. In my family, that could happen. Everyone is really into big mashed potato, but I LOVE my mom's scalloped taters. Yum!

  9. Hey there Anonymous--I didn't fly anywhere this year either, but I still went to the airport for a pat down.

  10. Hey Joe--I'm seeing you smiling when you eat those little cranberries today. Bwah HA HAAAA! You're a devil, I swear.

  11. Hey Nancy--Your traditional meal sounds GREAT!!! I love the yams & marshmallows too, but my dad makes a really good yams & banana casserole with a crunchy pecan topper that is killer. He's bringing that this year. He's the master yam guy. Happy thanksgiving!

  12. Hey Kathy--We're starting off with the Cowboys (sigh), but finishing with the Aggies & University of Texas-Austin. Woot! Got to work off turkey somehow. Remember the days of touch football with the whole fam-damily?

  13. I love green bean casserole, almost as much as I love mashed potatoes. This year we added a honey baked ham to our repertoire- very nice (yes, we still had turkey)... I love my family, but the best part for me, is after we've all visited, eaten, and cleaned up, they've left, and I get to lie down for an after-turkey nap.

  14. Must have: corn stuffing and garlic mashed potatoes. Must not have: overeater's remorse (at least until the next morning's weigh-in).

    Thanks for the fun T-day post!!