Monday, May 30, 2011

The perfect panel

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

While we continue to be in the midst of renovations (and eventually getting new floors from when we flooded earlier this year) I am trying to fit everything in while juggling workmen (not as sexy as it sounds), internet access and finding space to write (my office still contains most of the furniture moved in said flood), so blogging today was a bit of a challenge - and how can I possibly hope to follow on from Jim's procrastination exercise yesterday?! By continuing the fun of course...

I thought we could come up with fabulous and funny panel topics and panelists for an imaginary writers' conference entitled No, you really don't want to be a mystery writer!

My contribution is for a conversation between Joe Konrath and Barry Eisler on the topic 'The digital age apocalypse' and a panel comprising our own John Gilstrap, John Ramsey Miller, Michelle Gagnon and Joe Hartlaub on 'the bloodstained cozy rules' or 'why we secretly love mysteries involving fluffy kittens and little old lady detectives'.

So if you could, what panel title, and panelists would you chose?

Now back to those pesky renovations...be creative folks, I need a good laugh...sigh...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


10 comments:

  1. Great idea, Clare. How about "Outlining the Successful Novel" with Jeffery Deaver, James Patterson and Robert Crais, followed immediately by "Outlines Shmoutlines: Writing Bestsellers by The Seat of Your Pants" with Lee Child, Stephen King and Lawrence Block.

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  2. We already did that panel, Clare. Miller wore a dress to show off his skinny little bird legs. Hartlaub made sticky buns, but the way he smiled made me nervous to eat them. Turns out it takes 423 teapots to contain the remains of just one person. Unless you render them first.

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  3. Gilstrap, you left out the three inch heels to make my butt perky.

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  4. Now I'm not so sure this was a great idea after all.

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  5. Hmm...yes...was this a good idea?!

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  6. I was going to say something smart alecky but Miller's last comment made my PTSD flare up and I am now trying to erase those images by thinking of cute little puppies and ponies ... except they're all wearing heels now... and have perky butts ... damn you Miller... Damn You!

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  7. Basil, I think the only remedy is to read the entire Agatha Christie collection - then all those disturbing images can be replaced by...well, equally disturbing images of Miss Marple and Hercules Poirot.

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  8. Monsiuer Poirot in drag??

    AAHHHHHH!!!! It hurts!!

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  9. I'd hope both panels were at different times . . . if not, I'd work on that bi-location thing I've been seeing this metaphysical alien about . . .

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